To the Parent I failed to Please Because...

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To the parent that I failed to please because I am not a direct replica of them,

 I am sorry that I was born my own person.

 I apologise for having ideals that weren’t the carbon copy of yours,

 I am sorry that I had the capacity to think for myself,

Because God forbid, I have an individualistic line of thought,

At least under your roof anyways.

I am sorry that I didn’t inherit all of your features,

Maybe if I had you would look at me with a little less disdain,

Maybe the mere thought of my existence wouldn’t bring stomach acid up your throat,

While in the process corroding any love, you might have felt for me.

I am sorry I never wanted to be an accountant,

My ideal life doesn’t include income statements,

But that really doesn’t matter to you because in your words.

“Passion doesn’t matter.”

I forget that you would rather see me waste away so long as you get a piece of that pay check

God forbid, I actually enjoy what I’m doing with my life.

I’m sorry that I was never able to make you proud,

I guess your version of the ideal son had something to do with depictions of African societies version of masculinity,

You know kill the cow, till the land, alpha male type shit.

I guess it really hurt you when you learnt I preferred my brains to brawn,

The comfort I found in books must have been appalling to you,

I guess you expected me to be chopping down trees or something,

And I know your ideal son would have never touched debate,

Imagine if you knew about how much I loved poetry,

You would probably kill me.

I’m Sorry that I am never going to have kids,

I just don’t want them to have the misfortune of knowing how much of a disappointment I was in your eyes,

See if I have kids, I want them to look at me and be proud of the person I am and I am afraid you will ruin that for me,

I honestly can’t have both my children and my parents hating the very essence of my being, can I?

I’m sorry I could never be the child you wanted me to be but hey at least that’s why you have my sister,

At least you have a child you can be proud of,

A child who is just like you.

Comments

  1. jubilantMarch 8, 2021 at 11:04 PM

    Touching but still true for the most part ofvthe African child's life

    ReplyDelete

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