RacsenWrites

  Yeah this could also be potentially triggering otherwise enjoy I’m good I’ve been saying that phrase so long I swear at this point it’s now second nature. I’m okay, Is what I say to keep you all away, To stop you badgering me with your concern, Not that I don’t want it, I don’t deserve it (I think I’m worthless) I’m fine, The phrase that escapes my lips That was never designed to be the truth about how I felt, Rather it was meant to ease your soul. And like fools lapping up a politician’s lies You listen. You listen as I try masking my pain behind those words Empty phrases with no meaning, You never look beyond the surface, You don’t try to see past the façade. My words make you feel like the hero, Like you have played your part in saving me, Like you have somehow pulled me of a dangerous ledge, You stopped me from self-destructing. And thank you, The question is did you really? Did you look into my eyes when I told you that I was oka...

 Disclaimer : 1- The contents of this body of work could be triggering you have been warned                        2- This body of work is intentionally as crude as it is written. It is not supposed to be pretty its supposed to hurt  Enjoy! Hey, you! You mean me? Of course, you Do you see anyone else around? Do you want to play a game?   What kind of a game?   Its called tell me why you love yourself   That sounds fun   But there is a catch For every reason you give me I have to tell you one or more reasons why you shouldn’t Are you in?   Of course, I am There is no way you are winning   You think so. So shall we begin   Sure, So for starters I’m a good debater and public speaker   Yes, I thought you might start here Now tell me do your really think we stick around for the content of your speeches, That pathetic attempt at in...

Disclaimer : I should probably warn you that the content of the following poem is slightly triggering so if you suffer from depression or anything of the sort please skip this poem or otherwise read it with someone you trust.   Movements quick and precise, I glide towards the kitchen door. Rip it open, step inside, There is only one end in sight. I yank open the kitchen draw, Rummaging frantically through its contents “don’t!” A far away voice whispers in my ears, And I simply just ignore. At last my eyes settle. My hands carefully extract the precious metal, A ghost of smile appears on my lips. Leap and bound to the bathroom door, I enter with a ballerina’s grace. I tear open the medicine cabinet with Herculean force, Amoxicillin, Cyclosporine, Diclofenac, The names flash across my eyes, I don’t really care, I just grab it all, “don’t” A ghost of a whisper flitters past my ears, Fainter than before, Again, I ignore. I walk into my room...

    don’t!? I whisper, My heart skips a beat and I jitter, I try silencing them, A fragile attempt, Of making them quiet, Without being too loud, I try to be the good girl The girl I was always taught to be, But I can’t. Their voices like the rumble of a dormant volcano, Overshadow mine. Their voices like daggers, They rip at my flesh, Lacerate my heart. I am cold, dead, bleeding and numb. I wave the white flag of surrender, I close my eyes, my soul deflates. I wait for death with open arms. “It’s all going to be okay, Trust me, we have all gone through it, You are going to be okay.” My eyes shoot open, All I see is red, The anger consumes me, How dare they, how dare she. Is the world as insane as I painted it out to be? DON’T! I shout. The blood curdling yell rips through my throat. I have been silent too long. Don’t tell me it’s going to be okay, Stop saying that you know my pain You don’t It’s not you who w...