From A Depressed Teenager 2: I’m Okay?

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 Yeah this could also be potentially triggering otherwise enjoy

I’m good

I’ve been saying that phrase so long I swear at this point it’s now second nature.

I’m okay,

Is what I say to keep you all away,

To stop you badgering me with your concern,

Not that I don’t want it,

I don’t deserve it (I think I’m worthless)

I’m fine,

The phrase that escapes my lips

That was never designed to be the truth about how I felt,

Rather it was meant to ease your soul.

And like fools lapping up a politician’s lies

You listen.

You listen as I try masking my pain behind those words

Empty phrases with no meaning,

You never look beyond the surface,

You don’t try to see past the façade.

My words make you feel like the hero,

Like you have played your part in saving me,

Like you have somehow pulled me of a dangerous ledge,

You stopped me from self-destructing.

And thank you,

The question is did you really?

Did you look into my eyes when I told you that I was okay?

Cause if you did you would have seen it,

The flood gates threatening to burst open.

You would have seen the ghosts of my tormentors

Shimmering like sunlight

Speaking the tale of my oppression.

You would have seen the shadow of my former self,

Daring you, no begging you to come help.

But you have never looked at me.

Why don’t you look at me?

Do I disgust you?

Do I no matter?

If I don’t why would you bother to ask at all?

Was it out of duty?

Do I look like a task?

A moral obligation?

A ticking time bomb that need delicate handling?

Am I even human to you?

Do you even care?

Cause I’d rather you not care,

Than to have you feed my broken soul any more false hope.

Hey!

Look at me,

Do I look like I’m okay?     

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