RacsenWrites

 Loveless tweets trying to masquerade themselves as Godly correction I'm failing to find the connection Between ruining a soul with divine intervention And this limitless love that you all seem to mention. But never live up to Do you even try to? Or do you find solace in their pain As they wallow in misery and disdain Are you that afraid of being inferior That you hang hell over their heads to feel superior? Do you think Jesus would be proud To see this hate you display so loud Or would he be ashamed and disappointed That you are his so called "Anointed" Or maybe you're just not brave  That's why you can't live up to the sacrifice he gave All of you are cowards Just like the guy from that story called Howard. You cherry pick and choose Which bible verse to use To live to the title of oppressor Instead of being a guardian and defender Because it's hard to love in spite of sin  To see the human side and let them in So you hide behind the tweets  And the week...

  I send messages to my friends at 1am. It’s silly. It’s silly because I know no one is awake at 1am. Who replies to messages at 1am? I know they are sleeping They are sleeping because it is 1am. But I still send those messages, I send the messages because I get lonely. But as the night drags on I get lonelier. I get lonelier because there are no replies, There are no replies because no one is awake, No one is awake because it is 1am. Then I get sad, Sad because there are still no replies I know I shouldn’t be sad I know this because it is 1am and none s awake to read those messages.   But my depression doesn’t know that its 1am So, he comes to me, Whispers in my ear. He tells me that my friends have abandoned me. Anxiety lists all the reasons why they have abandoned me. I don’t think any of those reasons are true, ( I hope they aren’t ) I forgive Anxiety and de[pression, They don’t know that its 1 am They don’t know that no...

  I’m trying to erase you.   I forgot that your name was written in indelible ink, Tattooed across my heart. I forgot that the wind held whispers of your name, The sky had imagery of your face, The sun held the warmth of your smile.   I had forgotten that our future was written in the starts, Or was it written in sand, Doomed from the start, Fated to was away.   I crawl into the darkness to hid from the memory of you, I forgot that you existed with me in my darkness, And that your shadow still lingers there.   I forgot that there was a life without you, I don’t know how I will live on with you…   But then again, Did you ever really deserve me? Are you truly worth all that memory?

 When I think of my mother, I see a guard, She is holding me captive. But not in the safety of her arms. I hear the voice of a siren, Her words bending me to her will, Robbing me of free will, Putting me under her control, Coz that’s what children are for. I sit in my room in an anxiety flux And it really kinda sucks, That I fear her so much.  She broke me before the bullies had a chance. It’s sad when your guardian is the source of your tears And when you see them all you do is cower in fear. Its sad when a holiday is dedicated to the being who was supposed to love you, But did nothing but reflect hatred to you. But I was young and naïve, And I thought it was all in the name of love. Thank you for showing me what love is not.  And for giving me the strength to love you regardless, I just wish I could have felt the touch of a mother’s love. Happy mother day. From the Son you never loved.

  I was six years old when I first felt the crippling sadness That I would later go on to characterise as the early symptoms of my depression. I used to laugh when others laughed, But no sooner had the laughter began, it would fade, Faster than the bright spark of a fire cracker Vanishing in the New Year’s Sky. My lips would morph back into a thin straight line, And people would ask me why? “It was funny, just not that funny.” Was my short curt reply, But honestly, I had no Idea why. Why my laughter couldn’t bounce through the echo chambers of my hollow heart And fill me with joy. I never understood why the feeling of happiness eluded me. It would be nine years before I learnt how to smile. See, I had grown weary of my mother’s constant drone, “You should smile more!” she would say Tired of teachers breathing down my neck, Tired of friends not caring, Tired of the endless river of tears I was trying to choke back, Tired of not being okay beca...

  To the parent that I failed to please because I am not a direct replica of them,   I am sorry that I was born my own person.   I apologise for having ideals that weren’t the carbon copy of yours,   I am sorry that I had the capacity to think for myself, Because God forbid, I have an individualistic line of thought, At least under your roof anyways. I am sorry that I didn’t inherit all of your features, Maybe if I had you would look at me with a little less disdain, Maybe the mere thought of my existence wouldn’t bring stomach acid up your throat, While in the process corroding any love, you might have felt for me. I am sorry I never wanted to be an accountant, My ideal life doesn’t include income statements, But that really doesn’t matter to you because in your words. “Passion doesn’t matter.” I forget that you would rather see me waste away so long as you get a piece of that pay check God forbid, I actually enjoy what I’m doing with m...