RacsenWrites

  Dear Anonymous, Remember when I tried to say goodbye, When I thought I’d take to the skies and fly? And find a day when I wouldn’t cry? Well, it seems it was one big lie, If I am honest, I didn’t even try, I failed the moment I typed goodbye, Because straight after in your DM’s I said hi.   I showed you that farewell poem, And your mood seemed kinda solemn, Face downcast and fallen, Eyes puffed up and swollen. At least that the is the image that lives in my head, From the moment you told me that it made you sad.   Yet you didn’t realise it was all about you, You literally had no clue.   Its too early for me to leave you be, I’m still dreaming about you and me, See the harder I try to just walk away, The easier it is for me to sit and stay. You got me feeling some typa way, And to your tune I can’t help but sway, I’m hanging on to each word that you say, I’m living for you each single day.   Dear Anonymo...

  Dear Anonymous, I think you deserve a trophy. Some get anonymous a trophy, Throw in a gold medal, And while you’re at it a gold star. I don’t think I have ever written so much poetry directed at one person, The way I have written about you. I thought I should give it one last try, For old times’ sake, As I now try to say goodbye. Underline the word try because I don’t think I will ever let you go, I don’t think I really want to. As Ariana put it so brilliantly, “You are my moonlight.” You have been the starlight to the blacken skies of my heart, The warmth that reignited the cold dead amber, And wrought forth new life in my soul. You have been the eye of my storm, The calm that tempered anxieties. You were, are and will always be so many things to me, Which is why I have to let go. Let go of the part of my heart that see you as anything but a friend, The part that sees a reality where your hand is in mine, Our bodies intertwined, ...

 I am aware this is a change of pace, And this might seem a tad bit out of place, But, The time is still befitting. I have come to realise, That as I slowly spiral towards my demise, That it was never my mission on this planet to be happy. God had a much bigger plan, And if you think about it its really quite sad. See you could liken me to a candle, I consume myself to shine the light, Show others the path, Like an eraser I sacrifice my to cover your mistakes, So, you have a chance to be better. I am not proclaiming self-righteousness, But the way I see things that’s pretty much how my life has been working. I’m like a diving board, I bear the weight of your trauma, Bending and recoiling each time you gain confidence, As you heal little by little, Giving you more and more push, Until you are finally ready to take that dive, But when you leave, I rattle and I shake but I have to be strong. Realign myself so that the next person can jump. You see time never gives me the opportunity t...

  People say, That suicide is a permanent solution, To a temporary problem. But is the problem truly temporary, When like a shadow it lives with you your whole life. When it haunts you, Like a phantom skulking about a graveyard. When the ghosts of your past, Are so vivid in your mind, You could almost reach out and touch them. Is it truly temporary, If the cycle only perpetuates, Replicates, Each time life wants to torment you It need only take on a new form Each time you are back where you started, Alone, In a pit of despair You try talking to your friends, But it's like holding a conversation with a brick wall, Your parents think you are too young To feel the pain that you feel. They belittle your pain, Forcing you to bottle up more than you can handle, Making the so-called “temporary” scars permanent. So, tell me, Doesn’t a permanent problem Deserve a permanent solution

  What lies beyond 3D depression? I don’t think the extremes have left quite the impression, You’re just here, Living only because the divine will it, A helpless puppet in their twisted game.   You have died a million deaths, Each more painful than the last, Waking up violently from each suicidal fantasy, Broken only by the realisation that it’s not reality, You hate the mess, But rather a messy death than a broken existence. So, you pray to God, That he has mercy, That he doesn’t allow you to see the morning light. But the divine is cruel, He raises you to face the day, And allows you to continue to fade away. The cycle perpetuates, As he lets you live, So, you just let it be, Until finally he lets you go. But when that is, you will never know.

  I don’t want to feel the pain, Let my soul drown in the torrential rain, Paint my life in the darkest disdain, As I realise that it was all in vain, The idea of happiness and living was a far cry from insane.   I used to dream about that stupid thing called love, How it would carry me safely on the wings of a dove. The gifts of the heart were meant to be my salvation, Instead, they put me on the path of death and devastation.   Love is cruel, It will play you like a fool, Makes you believe you’re a jewel, In reality you are drowning in stool.   Being happy is a false construct, To try chasing it is path on the road to self-destruct, Each vein in your body is bound to be corrupted,   By the idea that with just a little bit of luck you will be happy. But if your down for misery I don’t give a fuck, Bitch, please go try your luck.   Try be being happy, Do and be free, Just don’t come back crying to me, When...

  Dear Anonymous, I love you. No hidden meanings, Nothing ominous, No dark twisted passages, Just a good old fashioned I love you. I love how the sent of Colgate still clings to my short from that hug you once… I can almost taste what it would be like to have those lips on mine To be lost in a kiss eternal. I forget myself, Writing like a normal person really doesn’t suit me, This all sounds to sickeningly sweet, So, cliché. I remember vividly each spot your hand touched When I found myself in your embrace, Whenever I close my eyes, I can feel my heart reigniting the flame that is your touch. Dear Anonymous I miss your smile. Staring at photos doesn’t do it justice, The sun pales in comparison to its beauty, You light up my world, Every second I spend staring at those pearly whites, Is a second in which my depression lays forgotten. I miss your eyes, Eyes that saw beyond the depression and the broken soul, Eyes that saw me as some...

  His hands, Are like the gentle caress of the sun’s golden rays, As they brush across my skin, They send shivers down my spine, I’m in heaven. His voice, exudes the essence of pure manliness, Laced with that lyric baritone Reinforced by a powerful bass. His breath, like the smell of summer rain. His teeth, sparkle like moonlight, A smile so breath taking it must have been blessed by the angels, He is perfection. But then again, everything is perfect when LSP meets Ecstasy, Giving birth to the child called “party me”. Or maybe that’s just the rohyphol coursing through my veins, A drop in the ocean when it comes to name them all, Those date rape drugs I’ve become a victim of, The same drugs to which another girl will succumb. Another night with no memories, A scruffy looking home. Eyes darting across the room, Searching for the clothes I own. An impromptu trip to the local pharmacy, Before running down to the police station. The office...

  Hey, heart, I know you are busy pumping blood and all, And being the central managing system of all our emotions, (I have questions for the idiot who put you in charge.) But dude we need to talk, I know you like…. I know you like that person, I know you may very well be in love with them, But you have to wake up and smell the rancid roses. You’re not going to get back the love that you so recklessly give out, I mean look at the poor kid who has to deal with your actions. He is attached to us and he listens to you more than he listens to me. Don’t you see that he is suffering at your hands? His fingers have become slave to his keyboard, He writes endless trying to process that which he does not understand, That which you feed to him. He doesn’t eat normally anymore, He can barely close his eyes. Because you feed him all these lies. An illusion of grandeur, A love you know he will never have, To its ideals he will remain a slave. Heart, I...