Dear Anonymous I

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 Dear Anonymous

I want to kill myself but I know it will hurt you,

Is what I keep telling myself.

That is the message that plays on repeat in my head

The message that keeps me tethered to life.

Each time I look at the bottle of pills that has a permanent home on my bedside table,

I hear your voice,

I can hear you telling me how I am such a blessing to your life.

The sound of your voice echoing in my head gives me strength,

The strength to hold on,

At least for one more day so you can say it again.

When the knife that I keep hidden in my room and I have our daily stare off

I envision your crying face,

Staring at my open casket,

And somehow, 

I let the blade go.

I walk away.

Dear Anonymous,

Loving you is keeping me from slipping over the edge,

But Dear Anonymous I am afraid.

I fear for the day when loving you just won’t be enough.


Comments

  1. BoiBenJanuary 6, 2021 at 12:54 PM

    I don't like this Anonymous whosoever and his/her/their hold on you be it positive or negative!

    ReplyDelete
  2. RoyceJanuary 6, 2021 at 1:17 PM

    (Sigh)I am not crying

    ReplyDelete

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