The Principles of Healing

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I’m not okay,

If you had half a brain

You would have seen it by now.

Seen through my façade,

The poetry that I put up,

A misguided attempt at channeling misplaced emotion,

Trying to heal old wounds,

That never healed,

That may never heal.

I guess they won’t.

I don’t think I deserve to heal.

What is healing anyways?

Does it mean the hurt goes away?

You are born anew?

You start over?

Or does the day become a dull ache,

A phantom of your former self,

A ghost of a memory.

Why do I still hurt?

Pain is a flirt,

He has this romantic way of making himself perfect company.

I find comfort in his arms,

Guess that’s why I never heal.

I am at home in my self-destructive tendencies,

At peace when depression ravages my mind,

Calm when my anxiety is at a breaking fever,

I am happy at the mere thought of dying,

That is why I never heal,

Because healing means letting go of the only bliss I have ever known.

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 26, 2020 at 4:37 AM

    Felt every sentence on a deep level

    ReplyDelete
  2. Providence NhongoOctober 26, 2020 at 4:45 AM

    We never actually heal.
    Because we don't want to forget the pain
    Because forgetting the pain means forgetting everything

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousOctober 26, 2020 at 7:18 AM

      Healing means forgetting the only radiation that makes me superman
      The one kiss that turns me from toad to princess
      Healing is like setting an internal inferno and forgetting to exhale


      I love your piece Rascen!

      Delete

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